It's really hard to write about losing sometimes. I hate to accept the fact that I have failed at anything, just because I want it so badly--to succeed. I want to be the best, but no matter how many times I may lose a match due to a mistake I have made, I will never stay down. Losing is part of the game, and that is just something that every athlete must face throughout their career. Through competition, we are able to see something that we can't see through training. It's the smallest details that our eyes miss, but once that small mistake costs us the match, it's hard to ever overlook that detail again. 
After my match, I know exactly why I lost. It's always something that I know I could have prevented, such as a simple distribution of my weight. It's times like this, when you're really able to evaluate your game--especially after watching yourself on video. You see your jiu jitsu game in a totally different manner. I find myself watching my matches and thinking, "why is my hand there? why didn't I switch my hips in that position?"..and so on. However, in reality, this is the best way to fix your flaws.
No matter how big or small the competition may be, I am always in awe at how much I learn when I compete. There is a unique atmosphere and mindset that you create when you walk onto the competition floor--something that you can't practice in training. I am starting to realize that this atmosphere is something that I am slowly starting to adapt to. I have only competed at about 8 tournaments, and I finally am starting to become completely comfortable with it all--the environment when everybody is staring at you and the pressure you feel as the clock counts down to 0:00.
It's a stressful situation for a lot of athletes, but ultimately, there is one single emotion that i feel the strongest after my match is over. It's motivation. There is nothing more motivating than a loss. Whenever I compete and the outcome isn't what I had hoped for, it only makes me want to get back to training as soon as possible and work on everything that I need to prepare myself for my next competition. This attitude is what helps me get through all of the struggles of this art. Having a positive mindset is crucial in order to keep improving, and at every competition, no matter the outcome, I can feel myself performing better than the last time. It's a long, slow process to improve and see that improvement in competition, but this is just something that I have to keep reminding myself. Hard work really does pay off, and I will always believe that. The harder you work towards you goal, the more you will be rewarded.
Now that I am back in Atlanta, it's time to hit the mats with my teammates and work on all of the weaknesses in my game. Even though the biggest tournaments of 2013 have already taken place, there are still many IBJJF tournaments that I am more than ready to tackle in the next 6 months. Next stop...Chicago Open! Ouss!
--Morgan Beverly
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