I have recently diagnosed myself with insomnia. No matter how tired I am at the end of the day from training, I just can't convince myself into falling asleep at a decent hour. I have been training three time a day lately, so by the end of my final training session, my body is so worn out. I try to lay down in bed to relax and let my muscles rest up, but my mind just goes crazy. I think it's an accumulation of the adrenaline rush that I get from training and the preworkout that I took earlier in the day that just hasn't quite worn off yet. It doesn't help me much that night training ends around 10 pm and morning training begins at 7am. Did I mention that I live about 40 minutes from the Alliance school? Hopefully my body will start to realize that sleep is a good thing. Who needs sleep when you're already living your dream though, right?
Sleep isn't the only thing you have to sacrifice when you're training this much. Whenever you have dreams, you sometimes have to be selfish, sacrificing time with friends and family in order to devote long hours into training. It’s hard to balance a life like that, while trying to become the best that you can be, but it is, without a doubt, very important.
My mom has always told me, “Money doesn’t buy happiness. Do what you love to do.” In the long run, I want my life to have meaning. I don’t care to be rich. I truly just want to enjoy what I dedicate my life to, whatever that may be. Seeing my mom and how much she loves her job and being able to spend time with us really inspires me. She is off on holidays, summers, and after school so she is able to be with us a lot—which some kids nowadays don’t have. We aren’t rich, but I think being happy with not as much, rather than being rich with a lot, is a much better way to live. However, if you find something in life that you enjoy doing ,but it also brings you a high level of success, then it's a win-win situation.
My mother has always been one of those people who puts others before herself, and I love that about her. No matter what I am going through, she always makes sure that I have everything that I need. Even though Worlds is only three weeks away, I knew that it would mean a lot to her if I came home from Atlanta to see her for Mother’s Day. I live four hours away from my hometown, so it’s quite the drive, but she is definitely worth it. She does so much for me every day, and even though I have an intense training schedule right now, I have to put my family first sometimes.
Some people will try to tell you that you have to sacrifice all of this in order to be successful, but I don't think that's true. In everything you do, there should be balance. I don't want to just be successful. I want to be successful and truly happy. I don't want to lose everything that I have now in order to be considered "the best." My close family and friends are always supporting me, and I want to keep that part of my life as I go through this journey.
However, coming home during Worlds preparations is a sacrifice in some ways. My family isn’t exactly the “health-nut” type of family, which doesn’t do me any good when I’m cutting weight. My family always has to accommodate our dinner plans and grocery lists, so that I can have some food to cook for myself. Since it is Mother's Day weekend, we decided to go out and celebrate at Longhorn's on Saturday night. So as I'm sitting at the table eating my plain grilled chicken and steamed vegetables with nothing on them, my family taunts me with juicy steaks, chips and lobster dip, and all of the other tempting foods that I can’t have. I am just constantly reminding myself of the delicious meal that I get to eat after I win Worlds. Then, I can have all of the acai bowls and overpriced, overrated Korean BBQ all day long at the venue. I’m glad that I am a very disciplined person, or else I would be moving up to Light weight for Worlds. 
I actually started to do jiu jitsu here, in Tallahassee, Florida with Felipe Neto. His teacher was Jacare Calvacanti, whom I now train with up in Alliance Atlanta with Lucas Lepri. Felipe has a school under Alliance, as well, so even though I am home for the weekend, I am still able to train every day. It was a lot of fun to train with some of my friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. I even emailed Felipe beforehand to tell him that I needed him to push me hard in training, so that I could stay on track for Worlds. He definitely gave me that extra push that I asked for. I was dripping in sweat and out of breath by the end of every session. I love that feeling though. I like being pushed to the edge and feeling myself improving on a daily basis.
Felipe is such a good teacher and always makes sure that his students understand how to efficiently execute the moves he teaches. He even spent an extra thirty minutes with me after class on Saturday to help me out with some of the moves that I had questions about. I really appreciate having a teacher that, not only takes the time to teach and critique moves individually during training, but also devotes extra time into his athletes to make sure they fully understand how to perform these moves. Even though I haven’t been home in quite a while, it’s nice to always feel at home when I step back onto the mats where I actually started my whole jiu jitsu journey.
My dad also got to come watch me do jiu jitsu for the first time. It was a cool experience for us both because he has always heard me talk about my training, but he has never seen me do it first hand. All of the time, I am trying to explain to him exactly what jiu jitsu is, but it's kind of hard to tell people. I always refer to it as a "technical wrestling," but even that doesn't seem to give it justice. In order for people to really appreciate it, you just have to show them. I feel like he has a much better understanding for the sport now. After class, he just looked at me and said, "that was awesome!" It's such a great feeling to have him appreciate what I am doing with so much of my time. Now, my dad can actually visualize what I do every day, three times a day, and understand what's going on better when I send him my competition videos.
Being home for the weekend was much needed. I was able to catch up on some much needed rest, keep my training at a steady pace, and I got to spend some time with my wonderful family. This Monday starts the Worlds Camp at Alliance Atlanta, so now it’s time to get very serious and focused. All I will be doing this week is training, sleeping, and eating….literally. I will be training at the school three times a day, all while trying to squeeze in a couple of naps in between each session. I guess I can just call Alliance Atlanta my home for the next two weeks until I fly out to Long Beach!
--Morgan Beverly
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