The past few weeks have brought many lessons. I don’t know any easy way to handle certain things life hands us. About a week ago I got back from training and looked at my phone and opened it to a text that said sorry about your loss. I knew right then what the reference was, but told myself it wasn’t true. I knew for sure someone sent the wrong person the wrong text. To confirm I logged onto Facebook and saw nothing but posts about my incredible boxing coach, Coach Nate. He had left Tuesday morning to be with our heavenly Father. I was heart broken. I completely broke down and had to figure out what this meant. It is very easy for people to say things with the intention to comfort, example: He is in a better place… it is better this way… He doesn’t feel pain anymore. The problem is it hurts for so many more reasons. I found out a few months ago my first MMA fight was going to be may 11. Coach Nate taught me my boxing. I have been blessed with many coaches but Coach Nate taught me my fundamentals for standup. When he was sick and I went to visit him, he talked to me about my fight. He told me how he wanted it to go. He also promised me he would be there. I wanted so badly to have him in my corner for my first fight to see how much he taught me. That was not going to happen anymore. As a fighter you learn early on that you have to be able to cope with things thrown at you and to be able to make adjustments according to what the situation brings. Losing Coach Nate is not a comfortable feeling no matter how anyone words it. I was close to not going through with my fight.
No decisions were made at that time. I walked forward, ran, went to the gym, and trained the best I could. There was no logical reason I should not go through with my fight. I love this and that is why Coach Nate took so much time with me and shared so much knowledge to be successful. It would be a slap in the face to give up.
After training for months it is two days before weigh ins. I have spent the last few weeks cleaning up my diet to lose weight but it is now time for the final stretch of the cut. Thursday morning I had 7 pounds to cut and weigh ins were Friday night. The weigh ins were actually in Savannah Georgia and I was in Canton, therefor I needed to be on weight Friday morning so we could drive down there. I was completely dry Friday morning and still not on weight. I was getting sick. We left early and not long after we left I was throwing up and again and again at weigh ins. What ended up being like 10 minutes before we weighed in, it was time to decide if I needed to just leave and go to the hospital. My body had nothing left and we didn’t know if there would be a fatal outcome. I had spent so much time training and cutting and did not want to lose it all in a matter of minutes so with much support and help of my training partner/ boyfriend, Nick Beal, I got to step on the scale and made weight to fight my fight. Even after hydrating I was not getting better. My body was rejecting what I was trying to take in. Friday night we spent hours trying to get my body to its normal function for my fight Saturday.
Saturday comes and it is time for me to get my hands wrapped for the fight. I am fight number three. I was so excited and ready to walkout to the words of a song chosen to represent the fight for my coach. I got in the cage and got my zone and fought. I fought all three rounds the best I could. When the fight was over I was told I had the first and third round and to get my hands up. Then the ref called us over and grabs me and my opponents hand and my opponents get raised. She had won by split decision. I was at a loss for words. I felt heart broken. All the thoughts going through my head about the training I put in, the surrounding circumstances, and the situations of the fight. With amazing coaches and incredible support from Nick I was able to hold my head up and get through the night in attempt to take steps forward and accept what happened.
The situations that were presented in the past few weeks all had their place. Nothing that is worth achieving is easy, but that does not change its worth for fighting for. When being realistic giving up is the easiest solution we can find. If we give up we don’t have to face any hard obstacles. We get to walk away and the upcoming obstacles will disappear. Where will this get anybody? There are things to be achieved and accomplished. No one person has a monopoly on pain or loss. Everyone is given a share of problems and obstacle to deal with. The things we overcome define us. I love fighting. I am disappointed at the outcome and as much as I wish I could change all these things that have happened, but it is not possible. I have learned more and more with each day given to me and that is something I would not want to lose. I am a stronger person and I want to train and fight now more than ever. With many situations presenting themselves I know I still have a dream to fight for.
Jen
teamNATE
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